Coming out as a conscious creator

Coming out as a conscious creator


You know that New Year, New You thing?  Downtime over the Christmas holidays is often a good opportunity to reflect, consider, and change gear.  The revamp of this website was long overdue for many reasons (and please excuse any imperfections as that process continues: it is still in transition).  The font was too small, the dark background made it hard to read, the theme wasn’t mobile/ipad friendly. But the chief one was this: I am not that person any more.

Writing my New Year’s Eve post and considering why I have more or less stopped blogging I realised it was because I didn’t feel able to talk about the things that were important to me.  I couldn’t be myself here, because the things that are important to me are deemed unacceptable in mainstream society.  I was afraid to write about them publicly and be judged.

Yet there is nothing shameful in my interests. They are just somewhat taboo among British intellectuals. And am I not hoping to walk amongst these folk as an equal?  We all want to be respected, not mocked.  But there is a stronger urge, beyond those social anxieties that make so many put our ‘best’ face forward rather than our true face.  And that is the urge to be who we really are, in wholeness.

For a few years now I’ve been listening to people talk about being in integrity.  And though I know it is important, and that people can tell when you’re holding back (and how can they trust you when they can tell you’re holding back?), I nevertheless wasn’t courageous enough to ‘integrate’ my online self.   I’d be my true self with many people I met, but not here – in text that anyone, even the unfriendliest of eyes, could find. So many people who know me in real life are hardly going to be surprised by this ‘coming out’ at all. For my friends and my clients, it is old news.

And if  you’ve been paying attention, even if you only ‘know’ me through this website, it might be old news to you too. Because in recategorising old blog posts as part of the revamp I realised I’ve hardly kept it secret at all.  Many of the posts I have written in the last few years touch upon on it. They speak of ‘mindset’ and ‘limiting beliefs’ and the world reflecting my inner state back to me. I wrote a small guide called How to Achieve the Impossible, outlining the practical steps you can take towards any goal through changing your emotional state, but I did nothing to openly promote it, only sliding it silently onto my sidebar.

For years I had a separate website for my ‘writer’ self and my ‘EFT’ self (the latter called Tap Yourself Free). I never publicly connected the EFT website and Twitter account to my ‘writer’ website and account. And stopped tweeting from TYF a few years ago. When The Marlowe Papers became successful I took the EFT website down. Last year I decided to integrate the EFT work I do with writers into this website, but only in a ‘quiet sideline’ way: not as a central part of my identity. I was afraid to write specifically and openly about my experiences with Energy Psychology.

Then, three days ago, I listened to three interviews in Claire Zammit’s Women on the Edge of Evolution series. This is the sort of thing I’ve been listening to for nearly nine years and not really telling anyone. ‘New Thought Leaders’ are part of my secret identity. I listened to Lynne Twist and Ali Brown and Iyanla Vanzant. Many things they said resonated with me but the one message that really landed was that if I want to blast away the final barriers between me and the life I want, I really have to own who I really am. Publicly. Never mind the fall-out.

So here I am, coming out as a conscious creator.

My experiences have shown me that my thoughts (and the way I feel when I think those thoughts) powerfully effect the reality I experience. And that I can change my reality (sometimes with astonishing rapidity and results) by changing my thoughts. If you understand even a little about the Observer Effect, or indeed if you’ve read Devotion, you will appreciate that what some might call ‘magical thinking’ is an entirely predictable consequence of living in a quantum universe.

If any of this makes you uncomfortable: sorry about that. I’ve split my blog into three basic categories, and you can stick with the ‘writer‘ or ‘scholar‘ strands if you would prefer. But I’m going to be blogging quite a lot about conscious creation from now on.  I’m going to write about some of the interesting experiments I’ve conducted, and give some tips on how you can create the reality you prefer yourself, if that’s of interest.  Because this is the 21st century, and extraordinary things are happening, and it can’t be ignored any longer.

There. That wasn’t so bad.


8 thoughts on “Coming out as a conscious creator

  • January 13, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    A really interesting blog. I find the idea of being a conscious creator completely intriguing. I have come across some of the notions you mention before but have got stymied by my own lack of any proper understanding of science. I look forward to reading more about your experiments and will read Devotion.

    I also really appreciate the idea of a writer being brave enough to produce a website that shares something interesting about who they really are instead of just a ‘buy my books’ number. I’ve got a ‘buy my books’ number and I do want to change that and my whole approach to social media.

    • January 18, 2016 at 3:27 pm

      Thanks Susan. I think there is a general movement towards trying to be more real and human in our webselves, even as some people (on Twitter especially) get more robotic and automated! Although part of me strongly cries out ‘Protect Yourself! Give them the Official Version!’ there is now a stronger part of me that is ready – I think, I hope! – to put my real and whole self in front of strangers, even though it is daunting. Your response was very heartening; thank you. I didn’t like having a website (attached to my name) that looked like a shop front. Who knows, maybe if we have the courage to be more who we are, people will feel more human connection with us and even feel inclined to read our work. Or the opposite! But then it helps to sort out which authors you resonate with, and which ones you don’t, and makes it easier to work out if their books might in some way enrich your own experience.

      Do drop by again, as I will carry through my intention to blog about conscious creation and touch on the science side too, hopefully.

  • January 18, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Dear Ros,
    I am 62 years old and agree with everything that you say.
    Last year I agreed to go and live abroad and live with my partner
    my primeval instincts kept telling me that I shouldn’t.

    In fact I had actually agreed to get married – contingent on moving to France.

    One night I just couldn’t sleep, so I got up and made a cup of tea, trying to wriggle
    away from facing up to the truth. Sixty two years old and in a mess like this!
    “What would Aunty Dorothy say?” I asked myself?
    And the answer came back: that I must face up to the reality of my feelings,
    and have the integrity to be honest with my partner.
    In the morning, I instigated a discussion and told the truth. I didn’t want
    to get married, nor did I want to go to France.
    I didn’t want to leave the students whom I tutor (my passion), nor the daughter who
    told me that she was having her first child just the day after I had agreed to go, nor my friends, nor my little house…I just didn’t want to go!
    So here I am…
    We won’t discuss the fallout, or the fact that one month I wasn’t sure if the bank
    would cope. But it did! Armaggedon didn’t happen!
    Instead, I move forward with a renewed sense of courage and a generic sense of
    hopefulness. I am just starting to write my first text book.

    Go Ros!

    • January 18, 2016 at 3:35 pm

      And Go Therese! Insights come at any age, do they not? Women especially are culturally trained to put their own needs and wants lower than those of others and not to listen to that quiet voice inside that says ‘not this’! It’s so great (and I’m sure it was very hard) that you had the integrity to be honest with your partner. The huge fall-out we fear (Armageddon) rarely happens. Actually I’d go so far as to say never, so long was we are being true to ourselves, because if we are being true to ourselves we are fundamentally happy, and when we are fundamentally happy the universe reflects our inner state back to us, giving us yet more to be happy about. Wonderful that you are starting to write your first text book, sharing your wisdom with others. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

  • January 18, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    Well I, for one, look forward to reading more! :o)

  • January 20, 2016 at 4:29 am

    Ros, I think every personal unfolding ends in a gift, a unique insight we can share with others and doing what we love is its own reward. Yet we are all struggling at different stages of “coming out” to the world so it was encouraging to read your story. I know that I for one can use all the “reality creation” tips I can get!

  • March 9, 2016 at 7:59 am

    I came here via your excellent post on writers and money (which is enormously familiar, being a mother of four and sole earner with a three book deal…) but did a little squeak of glee when I saw my favourite words in your sidebar. As a fully paid up, EFT loving Reiki master teacher I’m completely with you on all this stuff – and yes, I’ve tended to keep it away from my author blog too, even going as far as building a whole other website about it and then wiping it out of vague panic that it would affect my author brand (blah blah blah…). So this has inspired me to be authentic and change my website, and I’m going to get out there and be proud about the other parts that make up who I am. Thank you!

    • March 9, 2016 at 9:10 am

      My pleasure, Rachel! I too once had a separate website for my ‘EFT self’ and, like you, took it down for fear of what people might think. Let’s stop living in fear and embrace the fullness of who we are. So far I’ve had nothing but positive responses to my doing so; I expect you’ll find the same.


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